J2 XV v Tullamore (H) – 01.12.2019

On Sunday, December 1st, our J2s faced off against Tullamore RFC in Templeville Road. Having not played a match in over a month, one may have mistakenly thought that Mary’s might not have the same spark that has left them 3rd in the league with 2 games in hand. However, the lack of game time had little or no effect on the Boys in Blue who stormed their way through a young Tullamore side, winning the game 47-0.

The side-line was like an episode of ER with 2 Mary’s men hobbling around on crutches. The Artist Formerly Known as Lenzo and the recently-paroled Cal Gray both selfishly injured themselves, with no consideration for their team mates. Shameful carry on from both. Looking at our starting team, it’s easy to see how we kept a clean sheet and ran in seven tries. Led by the bearded Fionan Magee, our boys took a few minutes to get going and after 17 minutes, Andy McCarthy ran in a super try – he had support on the wing but backed himself and rightfully kept all the glory for himself. 5-0.

3 minutes later, Pottsy, who seemed to forget he’s a 2nd Row and not a winger, ran in a try under the posts. It must be mentioned that in the lead up to the try, Bev and Darran Kennedy skilfully passed the ball across the pitch showing that sometimes forwards can pass the ball. 7-0. After 29 minutes, Dil “Literally the Nicest Man in the World” Zaidel crashed through a strong try, with Murph converting, leaving the score 19-0 at halftime.

The 2nd half begun and despite the whole 2nd half being played in the Tullamore half, it took until 57 minutes had passed for us to score again. Andy McCarthy selfishly scored another try rather than allow one of his team mates to get a try under their belt. That won’t be forgotten. Converted by Murph again – despite his inability to kick to touch, Murph is very dependable when kicking between the posts. 26-0. After 63 minutes, Donners, having recently celebrated his 65th birthday, powered over the line following a phenomenal scrum that meant he literally only had to fall over the line and not drop the ball. Thankfully he was successful in this effort. 33-0. 4 minutes later, Captain Fionan scored a fantastic try – cheered on by his family who watched from the side-line. Despite constant efforts on the Tullamore try line, we were struggling to get the ball over the line for the next 10 minutes; however, Morgan Mooney had other plans.

Having literally torn one of his boots almost in half by demonstrating a speed only ever seen before in Mary’s at last orders, Morgan forced his way over the line for try number 7 after leaving the defence with no chance of stopping him. 47-0. Thankfully Morgan brought an identical spare pair of boots to the match, which is apparently something people do. Throughout the match Morgan spent more time on Mick O’Connor’s wing than Mick did, and seemed to demonstrate to us that he would rather play with the backs, than have to stick his head behind Bev at every scrum. A great showing in attack and no mistakes in defence means that Morgan has been named Man of the Match by Management – well done Morgan and keep it up.

The lads played some incredible rugby and to keep a clean sheet for 80 minutes, make very few errors and to keep their cool throughout the match (bar Darran and Dil who both got a little hangry towards the end of the match). 7 tries and 6 conversions – amazing stuff. Well done and we can’t wait for the match VS Terenure in Lakelands next Saturday afternoon!